I got it and did what I had to do this morning and got a pleasant surprise because of it. Funny how it's all starting to be "nakakaaliw". That one phone call I did not even personally get and the circumstances of it all is so damn "nakakaaliw". Why did I have to decide to take a walk then? Why did he have to call then? Why can't he have good timing, darn it? LOL. And why am I reacting this way anyway? This is nothing! This is supposed to be nothing! It is unthinkable, it is even almost impossible. Go away, delusions and illusions. You are treading on thin ice, girl. Stop it. I can't even believe I'm writing about this. Why am I writing about this? Why am I writing about him? Oh, shush. This is just an after-Audit effect. I'm sure this will go away eventually.... I hope....
Back to reality....
Am looking at my calendar right now and it doesn't look very promising. I've got loads to take care of until August 30. If I even survive until then. Damn that little slip-up in judgment which seems to be snowballing now. So many things to worry about and find solutions for. It seems that if you start out with just one problem in one area of your life, the tendency is for other problems to pop up in other areas of your life. It almost seems like those areas are saying, if you can't beat them, join them. Yikes. Definitely not the way to be. I think I need a real Pensieve to sort out my thoughts. My brain is all muddled now, I don't think I can even write a proper blog entry. But I guess I'll try. I think I need a diversion too. I even think I need help. I could use a superhero just about now.... Or God. Thank goodness, there's still God.
Who in the world do you think you're kidding, girl? It's not over. Not by a long shot. There are consequences, but then, it's inevitable. No. It is not over. Face it. Embrace it.
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Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Should I or shouldn't I? But I don't even know how. Although there is a way.... Yes, I think I've got it. Yes. I have got it. So back to the first question? Should I?
.:chronicled by senator skywalker at 2:56:00 AM:.
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